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  • Louise Diffey

Be Your Own Friend


Friends are important. Sometimes your friend is your partner, or a member of your family. Sometimes they are an old friend. Some good friends can be people you have recently met. We do our best to be supportive and kind and be there for them through good times and difficult times. But it can be helpful to take a look at whether we are good friends to ourselves. For example, what happens when you look in the mirror? Do you notice critical words in your thoughts? What expression is on your face when you see it? It can be surprising what comes up when you think about these questions. If any of the answers to these questions leads you to believe that you are being unkind to yourself, you might be able to find ways to change that behaviour, and pave the way towards becoming your own friend. If you catch yourself being harsh, judgemental, unappreciative and even cruel to yourself, notice this. Maybe smile when you look in the mirror, as you would if you caught sight of a friend. If you look well, take the credit for any lifestyle strategies that might have contributed to that...healthy eating, exercise, a good sleep routine, or maybe you feel good about an achievement, or you have had a fun time. If you feel good inside, then that can show outwardly. When you notice that you feel low, consider what you can do that might make you feel more cared for. Take a quiet break, go for a walk, get a cup of tea, watch a funny TV show, listen to music that makes you feel good. Appreciate this effort you make for yourself. Plan something rewarding. It can be a small thing, like a posh coffee, or something exciting, such as a festival or a holiday. Acknowledge your feelings and take care of your emotional needs...just as you would for a friend.

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